It’s hard to go through life on your own. As someone who despises asking for help, it’s difficult to swallow my pride and give in when someone offers their assistance. Pride can be a barrier to a great many things, this is one example of many where it can get in the way of happiness and comfort.
Once pride is set aside, I’ve found that not only am I benefiting from someone’s help, they’re benefiting as well. It feels good to help someone, in fact, I’d argue it’s a basic human instinct.
Finding a community of people that can help you in your time of need is not only necessary, it’s essential. Whether the community is large or small makes no difference, the only thing that matters is that they are there when you need them most.
When I was getting a divorce, my best friend and his wife allowed me to stay with them for three months. As anyone who’s been through a divorce can attest, it’s an extremely dark and challenging time in your life.
It’s also really expensive. Basic essentials like a warm bed to sleep in at night and food on the table are no longer taken for granted. Without my friends, it would have been difficult to function at work, which could’ve impacted my ability to pay future bills, opening the door to a fully unraveled life with no clear path to happiness.
Recently I wrote about my Mom moving out of her house and into an apartment. Thankfully we’ve got her fully settled; however, the relative ease with which this happened never would’ve come to fruition without the help of her neighbors.
One neighbor in particular assisted in loading a UHaul for 2 hours. He happened to notice that I was taking boxes out of her house and wandered over to help. Without being asked, he began loading boxes and didn’t stop until they’d all been successfully placed onto the truck.
For someone who doesn’t like to ask for help, I was incredibly grateful to have a willing partner, especially given the 90+ degree heat.
Our outdoor TV and fan recently stopped working. My knowledge of anything related to electrical can be printed on a postage stamp so expert help was required. Luckily, I have an engineer neighbor who not only knows how to diagnose and fix the problem, he’s willing to be paid in cheap beer and the promise of grilled meat on a date yet to be determined.
One new outlet purchase and twenty minutes of work solved the issue, providing an ability to once again enjoy watching golf while relaxing in a hot tub. Not only did I save hundreds of dollars, I avoided having to find an electrician, set an appointment, and wait for the issue to be fixed.
All of this is well worth a 6 pack and a few pieces of chicken.
Asking someone to assist us navigate through the complexities we face everyday shouldn’t be cause for embarrassment or shame. Most of the time, our friends and neighbors want to help. It makes them feel better knowing we’re taken care of while flexing their heart muscle in doing good for others and their community.
Swallowing your pride and asking for help when you need it most doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human.
I’m about to fire up the grill and put some beer on ice. It’s time to pay my electrician for a job well done.
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