All of us make decisions everyday. Fairly simple ones like figuring out what to eat for dinner, whether to shower before or after working in the yard or which show to stream aren’t difficult to work through. More complex decisions such as career transitions, who to marry and which house to buy can be debilitating. Life keeps on hitting us with what to do next. How we proceed has the ability to define the next 5-10 years or longer.
I was recently offered a job, one that would’ve solidified a new career. The interview process was easier than expected and I was faced with a 2 day timeline to make a decision. Based on the limited information available to me, I decided to decline the offer and continue down my current path. I felt good about the decision at the time but have had pangs of regret over the past few weeks. Major life decisions aren’t easily made in the span of two days.
Indecision is not necessarily a bad thing. If you find yourself staring at the paperwork for a new car with a high price tag and monthly payment, being indecisive rather than signing on the dotted line can be positive. Walking away is difficult; however, making decisions on the spot with zero thought behind them is worse. The impulse to buy a candy bar is very different from using that same impulse to purchase a new car.
Marriage is another great example of when indecision comes in handy. If more people listened to their little voice telling them to run in the other direction, there’d be less divorces in the world. Trust me, I speak from experience. That little voice works for every major decision in your life. Listen to it. Regardless of the potential hurt or harm it may cause in the short term, it will most likely save you that same hurt or harm in the long term.
What are we to do? Go through life with indecision and no clue on how to make a major decision? Of course not, but having some indecision can be useful. It may also save you from emotional or financial harm. An example would be using a credit card to replace a working TV with the latest and greatest model. This not only causes financial harm, it causes emotional harm due to the regret felt upon receipt of the monthly credit card statement.
Almost twenty five years ago, I was faced with a decision to leave Charlotte and follow my job to Boston. Although I had several months to consider making the move, I agonized over whether I should. On one hand, I’d be moving to a cradle of American history, a romantic notion that was very appealing. On the other hand, Boston was very expensive with limited options on affordable places to live based on my salary at the time. In the end, I chose to find a new job and stay in Charlotte. I listened to my little voice and have never regretted it.
If you live long enough, you’re able to relive the paths not taken and compare them to the ones you have. It’s human nature to beat ourselves up about what we could’ve or should’ve done. A better way to view major decisions that took place in the past is through the lens of the present. If you had taken the different path, where would your life have ended up? We tend to put a positive light on everything, but we’re being unfair to ourselves. It’s not reality. Life has equal parts light and dark, both of them should be taken into consideration when reviewing our past decisions.
The biggest question for me today is whether I should have pizza, tacos or stay healthy and eat a salad for dinner.
As usual, I can’t decide.
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