Beer. It can taste delicious. It can taste terrible. Some of the cheapest beers may be non-offensive to your palate due to a general lack of taste while more expensive brands may taste “skunky” or old (I’m looking at you Heineken).
In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day weekend, we’re going to do a deep dive into beer. However, we can’t very well discuss expensive beers, that would go against the entire “Penny Pincher” ethos. No, we’re going to whittle down the best cheap beers you can buy. We’ll use a 3 part weighted scoring average:
- Price: 50 points
- Taste: 25 points
- Nostalgia/Cool Factor: 25 points
Let’s start with the obvious. Although I’d consider many of these to be less expensive beers, we’re going to remove several of the contenders. This would include: Bud/Bud Light, Coors/Coors Light, Miller Light, and Yuengling/Yuengling Light.
On to the rankings. This list could be insanely long, but we’ll concentrate on only 5 beers, all of which are available at your local Harris Teeter.
5. Rolling Rock
Once a proud beer for the working men of Western Pennsylvania and college kids attempting to up their cool quotient, this lager sells for $0.72 a can at the Teeter. I want to like this beer but I’ve never been a fan. Although I haven’t had it in years, perhaps I should give it another shot. I have always liked the logo and green bottle. The regional beer cool factor has been diminished now that it’s owned by Anheuser Busch-InBev. Score: 70
4. Busch Light
If you live in Iowa, this is the beer for you. Just ask Memphis. Iowa State fans drank the city dry several years ago during their trip to the Liberty Bowl. Unassuming without being offensive, Busch Light has a watered down quality that would fit quite nicely coming out of a garden hose attached to your house. The funny thing is, I actually prefer the taste over Bud Light. If you’re looking for a cheap beer ($0.75 a can) that tastes like nothing, this one has you covered. Score: 78
3. Pabst Blue Ribbon
A classic. The beer of hipsters, wanna be artists and those with a refined palate for the cheap, PBR is synonymous with a beer both your granddad and his grandson would be proud to drink. The taste isn’t awful, but it’s not great either. Our first “full bodied” beer on the list, PBR gets a bit rough to choke down once it gets warm. The good news? It does have a taste. The bad news? The taste it does have is not great. The logo is iconic though, you can’t deny it. At $0.71 a can, it’s also incredibly cheap. Score: 82
2. Miller High Life Ahh, the Champagne of Beers. The bottle alone makes you want to bask in its glory. This is the first beer on our list that I actually would and do drink, although admittedly not on a regular basis. Take a swig and you can taste the history. The smell of beer halls filled with iron workers, day laborers and hard scrabble men and women runs through your brain each time you take a sip. At $0.75 a bottle, this one’s a bargain. Score: 94
1. Narragansett
The Ol‘Gansett had to be first on my list. Not because I’m from New England or I like the Red Sox, but because this beer is pure nostalgia in a can. With their original marketing slogan of “Hi Neighbor, Have a ‘Gansett,” still emblazoned on the can, I just can’t pass up a six pack when I see it. Maybe I’m a sucker for the marketing, but this beer has a nice, full bodied taste. At a selling price of $1.16 a can, you get 16 ounces per can of beer, so it’s comparable to the other brands mentioned. Plus, you’ll be the hit at any party. Be prepared for, “what kind of beer is that?” Score: 97
In the end, all of these beers are somewhat terrible in their own way, but that’s kind of the point. You’re buying something cheap, so you can’t expect perfection.
Unless you’re talking about the Miller High Life bottle.
That’s a national treasure.
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