What makes someone a great leader? If you were to view my Linked In feed, you’d think a majority of the people posting their accomplishments would qualify. Maybe many of them do, but how do we know? Are you a great leader because you give a speech at a conference or hand out blankets to the homeless while posing for a photo op? Perhaps, but leadership can take many forms, and not all of them are easily recognized.
My father passed away in 2008. Without getting into the details, there are many areas where my Dad could’ve provided better leadership to our family; however, I now recognize that he did his best. With age comes perspective and I’ve grown to appreciate what he was able to do and the effort he made to move our family forward.
There was one area where my Dad excelled at providing leadership: coaching. It sounds funny to say given he played baseball in college, but he was an incredible basketball coach. Never rising above the level of coaching in a Catholic church league, my Dad’s teams were disciplined, tough and almost always won the championship. He even turned a winless team the year prior into an undefeated team the next.
Church league basketball? Who cares about that? The young men who took the time to attend practice and play in the games definitely cared. If you’d ever seen my Dad coach, he treated every game like we were playing for the NCAA championship. He provided a level of leadership that allowed each player to perform at their highest level. In another life, I would’ve liked to have seen what he could’ve done coaching a high school or college team.
Leadership isn’t about how many speeches you can give or how large your management structure swells within a company. I’ve had plenty of managers in a corporate setting that I neither respected nor trusted to lead me or anyone else into the future. As a matter of fact, some of the best leaders I’ve known in my life are the ones who didn’t even realize they were leading at all. Leading by example is a well known phrase for a reason. It matters what you do and how you do it.
Leadership starts at home. In no place is being a leader more important than with your children. Forget the corporate board room. Kids don’t care about the luxury cars driven by Mom and Dad or dinners at a nice steakhouse on a Friday night. Having a parent be present in their lives and playing a board game while eating Chick Fil A would be equal to anything luxurious an overly stressed and overworked parent could provide.
If your child sits down with you to discuss a problem they’re having at school and you’re actively listening while providing advice, you’re being a leader. Whether you recognize this or not, that’s what’s happening. This takes patience, empathy and a level of understanding that’s far more important than anything you’d be asked to do in your work life.
Put down the laptop. Hang up your phone. Be the leader your family needs you to be. Far away from the fawning crowds there are literally millions of parents who are setting good examples for their children, laying the groundwork for them to become successful and productive citizens in our society. In my mind, there is no greater achievement.
My Dad may argue a church league title is a close second, but I digress.
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